Are You on Medication

Oh.

And because I am a techno geek of whom has not the time to blog today and being one that practices the vein of embarrassing the hell out of myself by not minding the shame, I'll leave my 6 readers with the 25-top most played songs on my iPod Nano (try to remember I use this at the gym - motivation is the key word here, people. Motivation). Besides, it is well known that I like to revel in my own shamefacedness (if that's even a word), so I thought I'd put this out there on the world-wide cyber space for all to enjoy a laugh or two at my very own expense.

Here goes nothing:

25. Pride In the Name of Love - U2
24. Gone - U2
23. Why Should I Cry For You - Sting
22. When Love Comes to Town - U2
21. If You Wear That Velvet Dress - U2
20. Do You Feel Loved - U2
19. Dreams - The Cranberries
18. I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For - U2
17. Do Somethin' - Britney Spears
16. I Will Follow - U2
15. Where the Streets Have No Name - U2
14. Sunday Bloody Sunday - U2
13. You Still Touch Me - Sting
12. Holler If ya Hear Me - Tupac
11. Discotheque - U2
10. Yeah! - Usher
9. Afraid - Nelly Furtado
8. If - Janet Jackson
7. Toxic - Britney Spears
6. Mofo - U2
5. Shake That - Eminem
4. Stronger - Britney Spears
3. I'm a Slave 4 U - Britney Spears
2. SexyBack - Justin Timberlake
1. In Da Club - 50 Cent



Et tu, Brute?

Get That Fruity Pebble on the Phone

Hmmm. I have been tagged by Alli (yes, she's running and hiding from me at this very moment, but I will find her. Rest assured). Though, not to shirk my duties as a dutiful blogger - here are the 7 things one may not know about me:

1. I am a major history buff. I am especially enamoured by the Medieval era (AKA: Western Civilization). I am not a lover, as is well known, of the Military Channel that the husband insists (to my great aches & pains) on watching (uh. bor-ring), but every so often there's a good bit of yesteryear . . . *shhhhh. don't tell him*
   
2. I am infatuated with zombies, aliens and ghosts. They may or may not exist, but they make for damn good movies or TV! Have I mentioned, "Sean of the Dead" recently? Right. It's a fantastic movie! Also, I secretly watch "The Ghost Whisperer" and "Most Haunted" every Friday night. If I have to go out during those times I am covertly depressed. Yes, I have TIVO - it doesn't matter, I'm still mournful.
   
3. Scuba diving in the ocean is one of my favorite things. If I could live underwater I would not think twice. And if any of you know what it is like to breath while being 60 to 80-feet underwater watching whole other eco-worlds of fishes, turtles, shrimps, sharks, eels, lobsters, squids and/or corals, you know what I mean. That is my pursuit of happiness.
   
4. I went sky-diving once. I wasn't frightened . . . . . . . . . until I hit the ground and realized what I had just done. My dad didn't talk to me for 3-days afterwards. I will never do that again. It was a one time deal.
   
5. I make friends easier with men. They are much more approachable, non-judgemental, easy going and not as snarky as the ladies. I do believe that men and women can be friends - you have to have the same goals in the relationship to have it work though. I also think this is why I highly value the little group of girlfriends I have. They are important to me because I have so few.
   
6. Since I was 4-years-old, I've wanted to be a veterinarian. I regret that I never tried.
   
7. I know most of the lines to "The 40-Year-Old-Virgin". I first saw that with my parents. When it was over, I looked at my little sister as well as her husband and asked, "did I just see porn with my parents?!"
   

There's more, but you will have to wait until I've been tagged once more.

You Need to Get Here Quick to Dispose of the Body II

Eyeball Update:

The eyes are still hurting. The husband, last night, decided to take a longer examination of said body part. He has since determined that additional medicinal treatment is necessary. I am leaving in a few moments to pick up my antibiotics. Pray to the medicine god's this works or I'll spork my eyes out myself.

After this I'm not sure if I'm ever going to be able to donate them - if even for medical science.

Shaun: "We take Pete's car, we drive over to mum's, we go in, take care of Phillip - "I'm so sorry Phillip". - then we grab mum..."

me: *last evening as I was of sound mind and calmly sitting in front of my computer*
???: rarrrrrrrrgh. *low guttural rumbling from the bedroom*
me: *panic at the disco*
???: rarrrrrrrgh. mmmmmrgh. rarrrrrrrgh. *it's continuous? huh?*
me: *???*
???: rarrrrrrrgh. mmmmmrgh. rarrrrrrrgh. rarrrrrrrgh. mmmmmrgh. rarrrrrrrgh.
me: *ohmyGod. It's ZOMBIES!*
me: *2.287779 seconds pass with heart beating fast and spork in hand. . . .*
me: *uh. oh. right. It's just the dogs playing over a bone. No zombies to see here. Move on*

Seriously. I thought there were zombies in my bedroom. I am sick. Just sick. Zombies aren't real and I thought they were in my bedroom.

Excellent! Buy Me a Monkey

A friend, a few years back, affectionately nicknamed me, Amazonian Princess. This did not offend me, because 1) a friend named me and 2) it's appropriate. I am Amazonian. I am not a princess or any sort of the monarch royalty by birth, but I can act like one of the best of 'em - just ask the husband. He'll tell you, but he is my husband and he can say these things without the threat of death by sporking lying over his cute little face. And most times, the husband will say I'm justified. So there.

At least I know it and freely admit it.

However, there are times that I do not know what to do with it, especially when it comes from someone I barely, if even, know . . . .

tri-man-athl: you must've been a swimmer previously . . . or . . . you must lift weights, because you have back muscles just like a man. . .
me: uh. No. I never swam, but - uh - I do lift weights at least twice a week. *could the earth immediately please split open and swallow me whole*
tri-man-athl: really. You have huge back muscles! *astonishment*
me: you really know what to say to a woman to make her feel just like a woman, huh. *kill me now. just kill me*

Really. Is that a compliment? Is that just plain scary? Or is that just a scary statement about me? Should I be scared? Should I have sporked his face off? I feel as if I'm in a bit of a conundrum here.

You see, deep down I want to be pretty. I want to be smart. I want to be a lady. I want to be able get off the Titanic first. I want taxi's to stop for me. I like being assessed by my shoes. I like being a slave to fashion. Finally, I like my girlie parts of me. What I do not want is to have a. well. muscled. man's. back.

Do you think chocolate will solve this problem?

Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.
~Joseph Conrad~

Perfect For the Everyday Super Hero

The husband may just be right. I may have no shame, but these people have less than I:

Best of Craig's List

The Fires of Hell Will Consume You

He trusted me with a knife at that very instant.

the husband: um. Can't you cut that for me? *almost grabbing the lunch I just prepared for him before jerking his hand back as if a venomous non-revivable death cobra was about to strike*
me: I'm sorry, what? You can't pick up a knife and cut your own . . . What? *laughing*
the husband: well, no. It's like a surgeon. It's precision. . . I just can't do it. *peering with pitiful, forlorn and the most dejected glance ever produced in the history of mankind*

me: holy crap. *shaking my head while cutting his sandwich in half*

********************************

Upon seeing the immediate construction of this blog.

the husband: you have no shame.
me: huh? me? what do you mean?