Friday, June 6, 2008

Top 10 Reasons Texaconsin Diva Has Been A Missin'


10. School + internship = 'nough said.

9. Backbreaking yard work with the husband. Butitlooksreally,reallypretty!

8. Cleaning up after Dixie. ***sigh*** But I still loves her so.

7. Thinking I'm 23 (I am NOT almost 40 - shoish!) and attempting a technical mountain bike trail route after not doing so for over TEN YEARS(!) I. Thought. I. Was. Going. To. Die. I'mnotkidding&I'mnotadramaqueen. I was scared shepoopi.

6. Going to massive amounts of the husbands bike racing races. He done good though.

5. Talking the husband into taking a scalpel to my arm to remove a thorn from one of the many mountain bike crashes I gracefully experienced on the "day-I-thought-I-was-going-to-die".4. Massive amounts of sleep from a thing called exhaustion.

3. Obtaining a very nice palatable entity called, "whiplash" when my instructor quack chiropractor decided that he could help my tension headache by cracking aligning my neck. Chiropractorsarenotdoctors.

2. Spraining my right 5th metatarsophalangeal (read: little toe joint) - twice. That was nice.

. . . . . .and the number 1 reason, I hasn't been blogging . . . . .

I've got nothing to say. For serious. The grey matter has leaked from my brain and out my ear. I no longer know how to form word patterns that include grammatical correctness'. Or there abouts.

22 comments:

Real Live Lesbian said...

Damn, you've been busy. Make sure you wash that pillowcase where all that big ol' brain leaked out!

Glad you're back! You've been missed!

Jay said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jay said...

"Chiropractorsarenotdoctors"

This is soooo true!

You don't see any brain surgeons setting up kiosks at the mall handing out 20% off on office visits do you? LOL ;-)

Dianne said...

I started to get sympathy aches while reading this!

ya gotta take it easier ;)

or wrap yourself in bubble wrap

and yes! stay away from chiropractors.

Jen said...

RLL: Ino. Laundry is the ONE thing I actually get done around here. I have to wash my scrubs and sheets almost daily, so washing gets a huge lead on dusting and/or vacuuming around here.

It's good to be back!

Jay: here's my theory on why my kinesiology instructor (who happens to have just graduated from chiropractic school within the last year) decided that he shall heal my tension headache:

1) I was lying on a massage table with a fellow student massaging my back.
2) He knew I had a headache.
3) He knows what the husband does.
4) Thus, he wanted to cure my headache to get REFERRALS from the husband to his new practice. [This makes total sense b/c he always (ALWAYS) tells other students that they have to come to his practice as he doesn't do so outside of his office. He makes students pay, but not me.] The husband is p*ssed. Really, really p*ssed.

I did not ask him to do this to me. He came over and did it. It hurt. I told him it did. He even said that I looked worse than before he cracked my neck.

He called the school the next day to see how I was doing. They told him I was worse. He felt bad, but it didn't fix the fact that he gave me whiplash. He apologized profusely the day after the phone call and by days end he was saying, "it wasn't me that did that to your neck. . . ."

Pfffft.

Dianne: check to the bubble wrap!

I have never ever believed in chiropractors. One wrong snap of the neck and you're in a wheelchair the rest of your life. I wasn't comfortable with him doing what he did, but I didn't know what to say in front of my entire class. . . . I'm learning to "screw" other peoples feelings (it's just not how I was raised), esp. when things like this happen. sometimes, one has to care more for themselves than for others feelings.

Alli said...

Guuurrlll,

You know I can related. I gots nuthin to say these days....

Hope you had a fun weekend!!!!!!

Alex said...

Keep going with the mountain biking, you know it gets easier and adrenalin is cheaper than wine!

What happened to this American litigation culture we always hear about. Take him to the cleaners!

Jen said...

Alli: only thing wrong with the weekend was both ya'lls absence.

We missed you 2!

Alex: It scared the SHEET out of me. I'm. Not. Kidding. I thought I was going to die - threepeat. One of the gals said she'd take me to a mucho less technical trail. I WILL do that and get better at my killer skillz on the mountain bike before attempting Sampson Park again. . . . if I ever do!

The husband was sure to tell me that I should mention to my quack instructor, that if he ever lay his hands on me again the husband is going to litigate against him (I suppose he really wouldn't do that, as he's only hatin' on the non-doctor right now). But he is serious when he says, "do NOT let him do that again!"

Believe me, I won't!

ETK said...

#11: hanging out with ETK and Baby, drinking many glasses of wine and vodka-flavored drinks. :) Yay!!! It was so much fun!

Chief Rock Chef said...

Hm, sounds like a fun time!

I must say that although I ride a mountain bike I would never dream of doing cross-country on it. I like my body the shape it is already! :-)

Tink said...

You, noffin to say? I donna believe it!

Ian said...

That's not a thorn, that's a stake! Well, at least we now know you're not a vampire.

tt said...

Yea...I think # 11 was one BIG reason for the lack of posts....:)
Ya'll are just so busy these days..I hope you get some 'Jen' time soon. A nice bubblebathsoakie..some wine....maybe a wee bit-o-'magic'...:)....and a good nights sleep..
Yep..that's what tt's wishing for you!

mindy said...

What does it say about me that when I saw the picture of the ruler I immediately thought you were posting a picture of something NOT-a-ruler, but something naughty? What is wrong with me?

Also, I loves Dixie too. That is pretty hilarious.

g-man said...

Glad you were able to put this post together given the state of your grey matter. :/ I can commiserate with you on the busy thing, and the toe thing!

I hope you are back to more "regular" form soon.

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Jen said...

etk: fun is an understatment. Especially when you learn that 2+2 is REALLY 5. . . !

Next time we're dancing on the piano. Baby too.

. . . .still recovering. . . .

rock chef: I am a single-track kinda gal! NOT. A. TECHNICAL. TRACK.

ACK!

tink: it's true! Believe it.

Ian: I vant to suck vour blud. Ha!

I told the husband this. He didn't believe. He cut 3x's and finally out popped the "stake". . . He said, "I stand corrected."

I wasn't being a drama queen. for real.

tt: my bubble bath will be turning to an ice bath. My arms, hands, back and legs hurt so much. I am dreading my internship more and more - I can't keep doing deep, deep tissue massage. My body isn't quite built for it yet. give me 6 months to a year and bring it, but for now, I'm dead, fred.

Um. Yeah. That's it. It IS etk's and baby's fault.

Mindy: I would hope such a thing is bigger than THAT.

One must love the Dixie. It's her nature - she'll MAKE you love her!

emily/jules: for serious?

Freakazojd said...

Hello lovely. #1: Me too. Glad you're still alive. Hope you are not wiping out/spraining metatarsophalangeals on account of your awesome stilettos. :)

P.S. My uncle is a chiropractor and uses something called an "activator" which does the same job with a touch that all of the crazy neck cracking does. I like it much better, and he does good. Not all chiropractors = the devil. :)

tt said...

Hey cute-girl...u ok?
Just missin' on ya a wee bit.
:)

Chief Rock Chef said...

Missing you, Jen!

Emmeline said...

I miss you! (Not that I really have room to talk . . .)

Em

tt said...

knock-knock....
who's there?...
NO ONE!!!

what's up wee one? Pooped? Um, do ya think you could throw us a bone?...maybe just a wee one...huh?? Let us know you're ok?? Don't make me call ETK or Ally!