Monday, March 2, 2009

It's Not Like You Were Doing Anything With It

So, as I'm getting older, I find myself at the door of the doctor. I even make it into the office, which includes the dreaded scale. I don't want to go to the doctor or get on his evil, vile scale, but I'm pretty much made to go to the doctor where I believe they will pick you up and put you on that soulless fat counting machine if you refuse. Have you seen some of those nurses?! I don't like going to the doctor even though I always feel like my face is melting off and that I'm dying. The doctor proceeds to tell me that my face is not vaporizing and death is not imminent.

Irregardless, of my wanting to go to the doctor, I was made to make an appointment. So, I did. I love the husband and he seems to love me back, so when he tells me to go see the doctor over 100-times, I'm inclined to go.


Even though I am fine. Really. I am. And I will go only to be told that I am still living and breathing in which I will continue do so for many, many years to come. I already knew this. Apparently, my face is not melting off. But since I was there and I had to speak to the doctor, I did. I actually really, really like this doctor. In fact, I'm a huge fan of doctors in general. But most of you know this already. My wedding vows made that crystal clear.

So, because I like to share, here's a wee bit of one conversation I did have with my PCP this past Friday morning:

doctor: are you exercising?
me: yes. I'm actually in the middle of training for a marathon with Team in Training.
doctor: really?
me: yes. I absolutely love it!
doctor: so how is it that you're running all these miles and not losing any weight?
me: . . . . ? ? ? . . . . [blink, blink]

I think my face began to melt off.

That was a fun day.


Jay said...

Next time he checks your reflexes, when he taps your knee with that little hammer just kick him in the yambag. hehe ;-)

sid said...

Wow I can't believe he actually said that. What a complete jackass.

Chief Rock Chef said...

Now it all becomes clear - your doctor is an asshole. No wonder you don't want to go and see him!

Jess said...

Uhhh...what the hell, doctor? That's really strange.

My advice - find a new doctor. Perhaps one that understands when someone works out they actually gain muscle. (Which, I believe we've already discussed weighs more than fat)

Jen said...

Jay: I love how you advise me to always, "kick them in the ding, ding!"

Sid: Strange thing is, is that he's a really great doctor. He has never been anything but kind. Then. . . this. I didn't even know what to say.

Chef Rock Chef: Another good point; subconsciously I just don't want to go due to that heinous scale with resulting comment.

Jess: I just remembered! I did tell him that my clothes are fitting so much better! He said, "really?" And that was that. Later he asked if I was doing anything for my upper body, to which I said, "I'm a massage therapist. I'm constantly working out my upper body." Something then followed that THAT wasn't enough. . . (sigh). It wasn't a good day at the doctor's.

Ian said...

That's funny. That's the kind of thing I'd say if I was a doctor too.

Princess of the Universe said...

I would have kicked him.
Just sayin'

Anonymous said...

You need to bring on the bitchface or the tears- both of those have effective and long-lasting results. I have found that when people have to own their rude comments they are less likely to repeat them.....

PS- you are absolutely gorgeous!

Alli said...

Unfortunately not all medical practitioners have good bed-side manner. That is quite rude!

Did you say, "I don't know smarty-pants-MD, you tell me?!"

Chief Rock Chef said...

Thinking about it, a doctor like that could actually cause eating disorders. I mean, I have seen pics of you, you are not 300 pounds! You look just about right to me.

What an asshole.

Tink said...

You should have replied, "How is it that're you're so rude and yet, I still come here?" ;)

p.s. Muscle weighs more than fat.

Jen said...

Ian: you big liar! You have always, always said, (& I quote - sorta) "There's no cause for being rude. . . " And he was rude. You are not rude; in fact, I have only seen you be rude back to those who have been first & deserved it.

PoU: I was a bit dumbfounded, so I wasn't thinking correctly to do so.

Monkey: I was embarrassed. I think this is why it bothers me so much, but I try to put on a brave face & act like things like this don't bother me. I've been trying so hard to lose the extra weight I've gained, but it takes time. A lot of time. And, I'm just not 24-yrs. anymore. But I'm trying.

. . .and thanks!

Alli: I did kinda come out of my shock a few seconds later (which seemed a lifetime of shame) and say, "I don't know. I was hoping you could help me with that answer." I got nothing back.

Chief Rock Chef: You're too kind & I really appreciate your support! Thank you! Maybe he didn't mean it the way it came out, but I don't think he should have said it in the 1st place . . . . If anything, "encouragement" would have been welcomed!

Tink: Seriously. If I could've put my brain into any other mode other than "dumbfoundedness", I would have. I just can't always think so quickly when I'm side-swiped. I just hope this "heavy" muscle starts burning up the fat - and soon.

Real Live Lesbian said...

Next ready with something quick witted. Preferably making HIS face melt off!

I hear men with little tact also have little ding dongs. ;)

Anonymous said...

I hate the scale. One time one of those evil people actually put the weight on the next clunk before I even stepped on the scale. Bitch - wait until I get on before you start guess-stimating my weight!

Jen said...

RLL: I wish! I always think of quirky, yet most awesomest comebacks WHEN I'M NO LONGER THERE. Ugh. I should get more prepared.

Suze: you and me both! And, really, what is with moving the black clunker BEFORE stepping on the scale? ! ? ! Not right. So not right.