Tuesday, April 10, 2007

I've Thought About This and You Are Not Going To Win

me: awww. . . . hon. . . . that's so sweet you came and found me. . . . *finding air and a great big smile*
the husband: you didn't ride up here? *slightly dazed and confused*
me: no-ooo. *oh crap*
the husband: so, you didn't ride your bike up here? *still hoping*
me: so. . . how was work? *note to self: must change subject*
the husband: so, you didn't ride your bike up here?
me: me? No. Um. I drove Coco Chanel and put my bike in the back seat. *super-duper crap*
the husband: you what? ! *face dropping past his bottoms hitting the store floor with a decided thump*
me: well . . .I, uh. I was running late. *loss of blood from entire body*
the husband: *crickets chirping*
me: why is your face on the floor?
the husband: *more crickets chirping*
me: I didn't do anything to Coco. *defiant*
the husband: you. put. your. bike. in. Coco. *laser death ray eyes*
me: I thought you'd be proud that I figured out how to . . . but. . .
the husband: don't.
me: but. . .
the husband: don't.

A few minutes later . . .

the husband: did you at least lay something down on the seat? *decidedly thinking*
me: um. No, but. . .
the husband: don't.

20-minutes later . . .

me: it's just a car.
the husband: I said don't. *maniacal laser death ray eyes*

I am now dead to you all, writing from beyond the grave.


9 comments:

Ian said...

Coco? You have a car called Coco?

Jen said...

Yes. I named my car, Coco Channel. The other vehicles all have names as well: Eleanor, Baso, Eleanor II, Lucy, etc.

This is not common?

Ian said...

Okay. Um, I'm not qualified to speak to how common this is. I have heard of it. I don't do it. Mine is called The Mazda. Sometimes Mazda for short.

Coco Channel? Is it a pun?

Jen said...

No, it's a very classy perfume. One of the only perfumes I can manage to sometimes wear, you know, with my allergies to all things perfumey. That and the Coach one (it's sorta growing on me) --- one teeny-tiny leetol spritz of it is all that is needed (and I can still get headaches). I never was a big perfumer, but it doesn't mean I can't wish or dream . . .

I forgot to mention "The Beast" that we no longer have. Damn the Kercedes. 1,000 curses on you German Beheamoth.

P.S. You've ridden (and gotten lost with me) in Coco - do you think it's a pun? ? ? Hmmm. . .

Ian said...

Well, I thought it was a pun because, although I am familiar with the perfume Coco Chanel, I have never heard of the perfume Coco Channel. I thought maybe you had bought a car with a multi channel amp or something and were being clever. Clearly not. Sorry, my mistake, won't happen again.

Today's word verification: gambu - what you are doing when you play poker with a ghost.

Jen said...

Ahhhh . . . in the "comments" section I hit one too many n's. . . I see where you're confusion lies. Sorry!

I also meant Basso - not Baso. Note to self: One should not drink when responding to comments.

I'm just sayin'.

m said...

Men care entirely too much about their cars. My last boyfriend would only let me bring WATER into the car - no diet coke, no snacks - ONLY WATER. We had many arguments over that, because I am THAT mature.

Ian said...

Ah, yes. I see now that it was Coco Chanel in your original post. And thanks for the heads up on Basso. I wouldn't have wanted to embarrass myself by mis-pronouncing her name.

Allison Horner said...

Ah yes, men and their cars...

perhaps we should think of it like someone placing our Coach bags in dirt???? i dunno.

;p