Wednesday, September 5, 2007

It's Not Official Groveling Unless Your Down On Your Knees

Is it wrong to hide the ice cream from the husband, if he eats the entire pint [or even quart] in one sitting?

Let me explain. I go to great lengths to purchase, on rare occasion, ice cream. Yes, I know - it is hard to believe, but I do have weaknesses. Ice cream being one. So, I do not buy ice cream. Ice cream is sugar. Sugar is the devil. I know this and yet I still loves me some sugar. . .mmm. . . .ice cream . . . . [***drooling***]

. . . . back to my insanity regarding all things ice cream. So, I may buy ice cream. Where in one full-swoop, the husband consumes the complete tub of frozen-goodness. (If I manage to actually find the perfect hiding place, pah-lease. . . . ye have little faith, the husband will seek, the husband will find it and the husband will have it AWOL within the day. I guarantee it.)

Enter me three, maybe four, days later.

me: hon, where's the ice cream?
the husband: I may or may not have eaten it.
me: you ate the entire thing of ice cream? ? ?
the husband: I don't recall, specifically. . .
me: [birds chirping] . . . . lawyer wanna be
the husband: I was self-soothing after losing my computer cycling race.
the husband: it's just a pint's equivalent today. ***calm down***
me: whatever. Go back to kindergarten and learn to share. ***pffft***

Maybe I'm just jealous the husband can do this and not give a second thought to this thing we normal humans call, fat cells. Maybe? I look at the stuff and gain 2-pounds. I smell it and gain 2 more pounds. I eat no more than my 1/4 cup allotment and gain 10-pounds (um. Okay, sometimes I may or may not consume more than a 1/4 cup. That's not the point. The point is, oh - nevermind). Anyway, this is why I must stretch out the devouring of most beautiful ice cream. 14-pounds is a lot of weight, people! The husband eats it like it's water and he doesn't gain a pound. just. like. water. Life is so not fair.

Finally, and to the point of my whole post, I have just purchased yesterday, one of my beloved Ben & Jerry's ice cream, the Karamel Sutra. Not only does it have the most fabulous name, it also is this little piece of heaven on this here earth of ours. I've had my 1/4 cup tonight. I am now satisfied. I find myself in my pretty, happy place where I dream of flowers, puppies, couture hand bags, butterflies, the husband, stiletto shoes, kittens and sugar. However, as of tonight, I don't believe the husband has detected it.

So, I hid it. Is this wrong?


mindy said...

No, it's not wrong. What's WRONG is eating only 1/4 cup, sister!

In other news, I had a conversation with my sister tonight. Her boyfriend was in complete disbelief that she can eat only 1800 calories a day. He said she was starving herself. She asked "how many calories do YOU eat?" He had no idea, so she tracked it for him yesterday. He had 4200 calories. IN ONE DAY. He's over 6' tall and weighs maybe 170 soaking wet. HOW?

It's totally not fair. I don't get it.

Ian said...

Thomas needs that fuel for the serious business of saving lives (and playing Bioshock). Share the ice cream lady, there's people that need treating over here (and splicers that need a whack with a wrench).

Princess of the Universe said...

Absolutely. Not. Wrong.

Emmeline said...

What's wrong is Ben & Jerry's not making their ice cream any bigger than pints! I wish I could find a regular Edy's or Blue Bell size tub of Ben & Jerry's, since my favorite is Chocolate Fudge Brownie, but alas, the biggest I can find is the pint!

Luckily for me, however, my bf does not like Chocolate Fudge Brownie, so I don't have to hide it. But for you - hide on, girl, that stuff is for YOU!


Jay said...

All ice cream is expected to be consumed on the same day it is purchased. Forcing a pint of ice cream to sit in a freezer for 3 or 4 days is ice cream abuse. ;-)

I love the Blue Bell Chocolate Fudge swirl or the half dutch chocolate and half vanilla. Yummy!

Alli said...

Ice cream is the devil....that's fo' sure. Go on and hide it. Just tell yourself you are saving your husband from the devil. This rationalization will make you feel better. :)

Girl. I feel your pain. How is it that the hubby has been complaining of his clothes being too big since we got married and mine are all now too small. It's not fair I tell you! UG!

Marriage & ice cream are SO NOT good on the waistline. But yet they make us oh so happy. :O)