Undeniable Relief

Last night, laying in bed before the husband had to leave for work, we were watching a high quality movie, "The Marine":

moi: honey. . . if I was kidnapped, would you come save me?

the husband: I would try, but I doubt I'd be as successful as that guy. . . .I'm not a big bad-ass like he is.
moi: awww . . . . but, honey, you're my big bad-ass! All that matters is that you'd try!

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There are many things I want to do. There are many things that the husband wants to do. There are many things the husband and I want to do together. This is not regularly possible. Sometimes I no longer feel as if there is enough time. There are always two directions available to each of us. We can take one or the other. I constantly hope that we choose the path of living life even if it proves to be the difficult course. Even if that is not one of the two choices offered.

Both the husband and I have been working long hours; barely passing one another in the bedroom. Lately, "goodbye" and "goodnight" are the staples of our communication. I have foregone the gym this week in order to just have dinner with him - to make sure he has not become a complete stranger. To know I haven't forgotten the lines of his smile, the tone of his voice and the pitch of his laughter. My biggest fear is that the "we" in us dissolves into the "one" alone. I don't want to begin again. I don't want to make my past transgressions once more. I don't want to lose. I've made the mistakes I've already made. I do not wish to go there once more - at least not alone. I am lucky to have the better-half I do as that path won't be trodden.

As an anniversary gift to one another, we have chosen to take a trip to the mountains. The two of us alone together for a week - hiking the Grand Teton National Park. We leave for Jackson Hole Saturday. I've never been. The husband says I'll forever want to stay. I just may. As long as he stays too.

I'll bring back pictures.