Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Tell Us Your Phobias, and We Will Tell You What You Are Afraid Of. robert benchley

So, I'm in massage therapy school. Three weeks and four tests into it now with a mid-term looming tomorrow. Yes, I should be studying. I should actually commence thy studying. It's raining, is my only excuse and,Idon'twanna. . . .

But being a student in massage therapy school, I realize I have to touch people in choosing to do what I want to do. I just did not realize that some of these people could quite possibly be Sasquatch. Or that some individuals might be one big raised melanocytic nevus. And, while these things are not scary, they can tend to make some individuals cringe, take pause or recoil. I may or may not be this person.

Either way, I somewhat naively thought I could take one step at a time. Maybe have a slightly hairy person one day, a entirely clean shaven the next two or three times to another more hairier individual, back to no hair at all and then, finally, on to a single cute little mole. You know, baby steps. To get me out of the "ew zone". It is only my third week.

Well, let me just say that I no longer have the previous two phobias. I'm cured and so over both the Sasquatch and the moles. Two birds with one stone. In one client. For good measure, let's also throw in creepy toenails. Truth be told, I was scratched by some thick, apparently, sharp yellow one's. I got the three-for special. That's trip fantastic.

Bring on the herpes.





I'm just, you know, sayin'.






18 comments:

Jay said...

Ewwwwwwww

I hadn't thought of those things either. That would be tough to overcome.

Alli said...

Yah, I am sure you'll get to see allll kinds of interesting things...

great stories to tell us and the husband! :)

Just wait for the crazys. Oh, those are a delight! *MUCHO sarcasm"

tt said...

You're so good. I'm proud of you for getting in touch with your 'eww factor' so quickly. You rock!
Ummmm, I just hope you never have to....um....masage my moles or see my ugly toenails....and don't even get me started on the Herpes thing...
rock on sister!

Jen said...

Jay: Ino. I did not think of those things either. But, it wasn't too bad. Once I started, I didn't think of either of them, 'cept for the toenails. I mean, they DID scratch me. And, re: more hair on the body; one just has to use more lotion. You almost don't feel it at all.

alli: they've added a pathology course for the new hours to become licensed. Before my class you only needed 300 hours and to pass the state boards. Now, you have to at least have a 500 hour course (I'm taking the 550 hours). They've also seen the pathogens and nonpathogens that massage therapist come into contact daily. It would help to i.d. them, so I'm happy about pathology. Um. Impetigo. . . no thanks!

The other day a LMT had to deal with herpes. My understanding was that she was a nurse previously, recognized it and had it confirmed by the client. Seriously, someone tell me, why, why, WHY would you show up with that BIG of a herpes outbreak (that it shows down your leg)? We can't and won't touch you.

Oh, please be kind and trim the toenails. I understand if you can't help their cracking, aging, toughness but you can at least cut them long fookers off. Please?

tt: I'm down with the moles. They're not a problem anymore! I just needed to get it done once - I'll not think of it again.

Toenails that can't be helped b/c one used to be a dancer is completely different than trying to grow fingernails out your toes.

If, by chance, you've got some sort of foot fungus, most LMT's can't touch that sort of thing. It's for the safety of you and them as well as not contaminating. It's more a contraindication.

AmyTree said...

Oh my god why would someone with an outbreak that bad think they can still get a massage?! Yikes.

I have had a lovely morning reading your archives - I think that yes, Princess was right - we can be friends. :-) xxx

Rock Chef said...

And I thought you were training for such a glamourous career!

g-man said...

LOL Bring it on indeed. I'm glad you are over it. Be sure to tell us of the odd people, they are funny. :)

Good luck with the studying, Makes me wish we lived closer, so you could practice :) I'm kind that way. (My ex told me she was going to practice taking blood on me during nursing school).

Ian said...

Eee-ewe...I shuddered reading that. I don't think I'm cut out for that line of work.

Emmeline said...

Damn you are brave. And TOTALLY grossing me out. Thank God I decided to catch up on blogs BEFORE my lunch break today! Gag!!

Em

mindy said...

This is one reason I can't be a massage therapist. I'd be waaaay too grossed out. Kudos to you!

Jen said...

AmyTree: I'm so glad you stopped on by. I fell in heart with your St. Patrick's Day video - the best I've seen yet. I mention this so that others too may follow me there.

I need to check on your archives, I just need to find the time! But I'll be back to yours. For sure.

rock chef: Ino! I totally thought so too. Just wait until my class begins pathology! Ugh. Ew.

g-man: Yeah I need practice! So, I don't think your wife is really kidding when she mentions that she'll need to practice to take blood from you. . .

P.S. I hope my brain turns back into solid form soon too. Thanks!

Ian: Stick with computers. They are not disgusting on any level of "ew zone". That's my advice; I just didn't think of it for myself. I'm quickly getting over things. Quickly.

Em: anytime. Anytime I can be of assistance - I'm pretty sure this is not the last of "ew zone".

Mindy: I didn't know. I really didn't know that these were issues. I mean, really, who would have thunk we aren't all hairless, germ free AND smooth?

R.E.H. said...

Yikes! I never thought about that either. I mean, I guess it's probably worse mentally than it is physically to touch these things... well the hairy is ok - but the moles! Eeew... what if they ooze?

Good for you getting past that petty stuff though...

ETK said...

ewwwww- I am no longer jealous. :)

Are you having fun though?

Real Live Lesbian said...

Sounds like it's YOUR turn for the shots!

Giant hairy nevuses watch out! Here she comes!!!!

Jen said...

etk: what? why?

totally having a BLAST!

rll: Never thought about that. Now, my bum's gonna hurt!

You're too funny!

Jen said...

r.e.h.: didn't mean to skip. . .

Yeah, I guess you're right - it IS pretty petty. But there are other petty things lurking about. . . stay tuned for more "ew factor" pettiness!

Tink said...

Ewwwww. See, that's why I couldn't do that job. I'd offend the clients by putting on gloves or something. ;)

Jen said...

tink: I believe that gloves are becoming more and more commonplace in this industry. I am NOT afraid to use them either!