Wednesday, November 7, 2007

That's How This Lady Rolls

I am officially jumpy. I had never been before. I was the one, at 6 years of age, that sat through an entire viewing of "Jaws" without batting an eyelid. And, no, my mother did not approve. She said "no, you cannot take Jenny to see that movie," but my older and way cooler cousin did not see the point in listening to a mother's advice. She took me anyway. I wasn't even frightened of the ocean let alone sharks. I was 6. Give me Spielberg any day. I can take him.

I was 8 when "Salem's Lot: The Miniseries" was shown on TV. My parents let my brother and I watch it with them. My brother covered his eyes the entire time while mentioning more than once, "tell me when it's over." I sat wide-eyed and bushy tailed viewing the entire show. I fell in love with bloodsucking vampires and all things evil.

After I had discovered Stephen King, I then found Anne Rice and Dean Koontz. I couldn't read fast enough. These authors were coupled with and era of Freddy Krueger and Jason. Hmpf. Child's play if you ask me.

. . . .Fast forward to modern day Longhorn City, TX USA. . . .

Late Monday morning, I was just back from the gym and the grocery. In the husbands and my driveway, I went around to the passenger side of the truck to start unpacking recently purchased food goods. It was then it happened. Panic suddenly had me in its crushing grip. In one movement, I had jumped, ducked my head defensively and gasped with horror. I had 6 bags of groceries in each hand. I almost dropped them and fled. Shock was enveloping me as my little heart was pounding through my chest. Seconds passed . . . .

What exactly was it that brought a horror giant down?

A falling acorn. One that had whizzed past my head at what was seemingly 32-miles per hour and hit the truck with alarming force.

Don't believe me?
evidence A: the scratch left on our truck after atomic acorn hit.


butterfly girl said...

Oh, now I heard it all. Sure there aren't any Nazi squirrels out to get you?

Maybe they were angry because you didn't buy them shelled nuts.

Thanks for the mascara tip!

Jay said...

You've shown great resiliency and courage in overcoming that acorn attack. Keep an eye out for the squirrel that threw it at you. Maybe you'll get the chance to sneak up on him and get a little payback.

Jay said...

LOL I simulcommented with Butterfly Girl about rouge squirrels throwing acorns at people. ;-)

Ian said...

Wow. Close one. I have to concur with the others. It's got to be those sneaky rodent tree punks.

Jen said...

Funny thing is, is that it was thrown that hard. I really believed someone threw it at me and when realizing that there was no one around, I thought "nazi squirrel."

Really. I did!

It certainly scared the ever living crap out of me, that's for serious.

Emmeline said...

Hahahahaha. I am jumpy too. It's really bad. REALLY bad. I also like scary movies and all that good stuff as well. I don't have problems sleeping or anything afterward, and I am not paranoid. I'm not afraid that something's just around the corner. I don't know - I just get into my own world a lot and when something (like a falling acorn) jars me out of it, I react by yelping or jumping or gasping . . . usually to the great amusement of whomever is around me at the time. My old roommate used to make fun of me mercilessly for it.


mindy said...

I saw Freddy Krueger when I was little and it scared the living shit out of me. To this day I hate scary movies.

R.E.H. said...

"Attack of the Mutant Squirrels"

That'll be the title of the low-budget television horror movie I shall produce having heard this story :)

Stephen King would surely be able to write the book if you talk to him.

I absolutely love horror movies, but I wish they could scare me today like they did back when I was a kid. The Exorcist (original) is the only movie that still makes me want to leave the light on at night.

Alli said...

GOOD GRAVY! I can't believe that acorn scratched your truck like that! Someone must have thrown it. That would make me jumpy, too!

Yes, maybe it was a mutant tree rat.

Rock Chef said...

Those squirrels must has slingshots!

Real Live Lesbian said...

Squirrels will someday take over the world. Be very afraid.

Rock Chef said...

I think there is a picture of the culprite here:

Jen said...

Em: maybe that's what it is. . . I get into my own little world . . . I'm sure the husband would agree with you!

Mindy: I was 12 or 13 when Freddy hit the town. To be fair, I watched it while at a sleep over. It was a bit nerve-wracking, but in all, I wasn't really scared. Freaked out, yes. Scared, no. And I'm guessing you were approx. 6 at the time - I'd have been terrified too.

r.e.h.: just remember buddy, royalties. Royalties.

I also read some time ago that when "The Exorcist" came out that ambulances had to wait outside movie theaters. It was so scary, people were in need of medical attention during the movie & sometimes had to be taken to the hospital!

Alli: Seriously, it was that hard that I did think someone threw it at me! It scared the ever living crap out of me!

Rock Chef: That's their secret weapon - sling shots! ?

Hey! How did that little dude get over there from Texas? (thanks for the link)

rllesbian: I am afraid! Very afraid! You think they're just rats with fuzzy tails all harmless and then WHAM(!) the squirrels have taken over!