Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Laugh and the Whole World Laughs With You, Cry and You Have to Blow Your Nose

I have to ask, what does a girl do when her "girl claws" come out (but in this instance these claws have absolutely nothing to do with being territorial)? 'Cos, ladies, if you ever lay your hands on the husband, I will eradicate you like you've never seen Rambo before. Plain and simple. No problems there. But what if you're just angry? How does a girl deal with that? What does she do?

Generally, I consider myself a pretty decent human being. At times, I tease the husband more than I should (and put it in writing on the world-wide-net for the entire heavenly body to view), but that just means we have a solid relationship. If we didn't I could not write some of the things I do. He understands this. I respect this. And I love him all the more for him letting me be me. Everybody knows I am far from perfect myself. Even if I am a delicate flower.

However, I have even been known as a pushover. Some of my friends have said and continue to say I'm too nice as well as too forgiving and they've tried to help me with that. Most of their counsel has not been in vain - some of it has worked. And I believe am a better person for it. Though I'll never forget that an ex once said to me, "God, it must be nice to be you. I'd love to be ignorant. Ignorance is bliss." And then laughed at me. It hurt, but I forgave him for that. Eventually (and thank all the Gods in this universe), he became the ex. So, I can and will get there. In this day and age, be forewarned that the time line for me to achieve this is getting far shorter, especially since I'm becoming antiquated, primeval and in general just more crotchety. Or maybe it's just my dementia. Either way, I have a much shorter tolerance these days for people who steal my Godiva.

My point is, that I can and will turn into the devil incarnate if I am pushed far enough. It's not pretty either. And the husband, family as well as close friends will hear about it through my 90-mile-an-hour-machine-gun-mouth (or AK-47; whichever the kids find coolest these days). I pretty well sound like, "tat, tat, tat, tat, tat, atta, atta, tat, tat, tat, tat, tat, tat, tat, tat, tat, atta, atta, tat, tat, tat, tat (reload), tat, tat, tat, atta, atta, tat, tat. . . . "

How to make me angry: To summarize, go ahead and tell me that I am insensitive, irrational, selfish, insult my marriage and tell me I lack empathy.

So, how am I to deal with that without landing myself in the federal penitentiary system for the rest of my life? What is a girl to do? The girl claws are extended and waiting . . . .

16 comments:

Ian said...

As is the approach of most men when faced with an angry woman and no apparent reason for it my reaction is 'Huh? Damn! Did I do something wrong?'.

I am currently reviewing all recent conversations, nights out and sports events watched. Once my brain is pretty sure it wasn't me I may return to offer advice.

Jen said...

I'm pretty sure the perp doesn't read this blog 'o mine. You're in the clear.

Ian said...

Well in that case, if the moron doesn't read your blog they ain't worth worrying about.

Alli said...

Ouchy. Sorry to hear someone was so rude to you. :( That's not cool. I don't take things well either one someone insults me and/or my family & friends. I think I am even more protective of my family/friends than I am myself. So, I TOTALLY understand you feeling the way you do! I hope all is well....

Jen said...

You are right. My parents are right. Thomas is right. My in-laws are right.

BUT. I. AM. STILL. P*SSED.

Jen said...

. . . And I have this one in writing.

Ian said...

Okay. Details. Now!

Jen said...

You wouldn't believe it.

Mindy said...

When the girl claws come out there is only one thing to do: USE THEM.
(Thanks for the shout out!)

Ian said...

Maybe I would and maybe I wouldn't. That's for me to decide. Once. I've. Been. Presented. With. The. Details!

Jen said...

Yeah. Well, I'm just going to go order a pizza and have a beer instead. You know me, when I have the drama; it IS the drama.

Mindy: I've been reading your blog far longer than I've let on. Be sure to know that more shout-outs will appear here in the future.

Alli: I was really, really, really, really, angry. Like, can't stop shakin' angry. While even though, all is not so well, I/it will be fine.

Ian: 'tis b*tcher pitcher time. . . When can you 2 come back up here?

Alli said...

WOW. It must have been someone important to make you that upset. That's a bummer. :(

Ian said...

Mmm. Bitcher Pitchers. Haven't been bought one of them in a while.

Jen said...

Yeah, I think I kinda owe you one now. Or this could have constituted as two.

When the wife returns let's make some plans. . .

Ian said...

I'll settle for one on account of the minor amount of bitching I did myself today.

Jen said...

Yeah? Well, yours was warranted and totally justifiable.