Monday, March 12, 2007

Something Wicked This Way Comes

Aaaargh. Grrrrrr. Mmmmph.

What is it?

  • Zombie's walking the streets of Milwaukee?
  • The Husbands evilness in the middle of the night?
  • Jen this past Sunday morning without coffee? Ding, ding, ding, ding!

I was seriously sleep deprived and even my autopilot was malfunctioning. It was early. Really, really early. I was supposed to get up to make the husband his bike racing breakfast - I had volunteered for this job. I saw it as my solemn duty. However, in my over zealousness, I had blondely forgotten that daylight savings time was to begin that very morning.

And, while I'm not addicted to the java bean, I do on occasion like to imbibe in it. Some mornings the coffee is more necessary than others. Sunday was one of those necessary days. It was virtually impossible for me to gather my brains together to get out of our comfy bed. It was just plainly painful.

The husband finally said, "stay in bed, I'll run and get you some coffee." He returned with that little piece of heaven on earth. The husband was my knight in his bike racing shorts and baseball cap. Of course, holding my vanilla latte in one hand while whispering, "time to get up, baby. We have to get moving." [translation: "evil sleep demons be gone!"] I then tasted what was supposed to be my grande non-fat vanilla latte.

It was only a latte. No vanilla.

There was suddenly a buzzing in my ear. I think my brain was dying.

*******Side note: In lieu of recent comments commenting, I must make it clear that I am not complaining about the husband here. As mentioned previously, he went and bought me coffee very early in the morning during daylight savings time. Hurrah! Also mentioned previously, he was my knight in his bike racing shorts and baseball cap! Touche! It is Starbucks that I am complaining about. They made the wrong coffee. They tried to melt my brain. Thus, they tried to kill me.

How do I know this? Because it is well known by the husband that I heart grande non-fat vanilla latte's. He would order nothing else ever. Period. So, when he ordered my skinny latte he ordered it with vanilla - not plain, which was just icky, icky poo.

Besides, he told me so and I believe him. He felt pretty bad and even offered to stop to buy another one, but I am, for the moment, having an embargo on Starbucks for messing up my chi.


Ian said...

Wait! What? Now, you know I'm generally supportive of all things Jen, but I think you've lost me here. Someone goes to the trouble of bringing you a coffee on spring forward day, which is a pretty crappy day to try to get up and moving as you know, you don't complain about the contents of the coffee, you say "thank you" and you start drinking.

Jen said...

I'm not complaining about the husband here. I am complaining about Starbucks. That franchise tried to kill me on Sunday.

do I need a re-write?

Ian said...

Oh, uh, maybe I need a re-read. Now that you've clarified things I apologise for my misinterpretation, but then, if you do insist on frequenting these global chains...Bob's coffee shop round the corner would have remembered how you take your coffee.

Jen said...

Sadly, we don't have one of those "Bob's Coffe Shop 'round the Corner".

We do have a hippie coffee shop up by TCU, but they take 25.49 minutes to make your coffee. ONE coffee. So, if by chance you need two coffee's, then you'd had better have about 52-minutes to spare. Or plan ahead.

Ian said...

If they take 25.49 minutes to make you a coffee you are entirely justified in not frequenting them.

Ian said...

Much clearer. Thank you. Apology accepted.

Jen said...

Isn't that "assepted"?

mindy said...

I love that you have a "Zombies" label. I can't wait to see what else shows up under that one! :)