Wednesday, July 11, 2007

The Last Smegma


what I would want to say if I ever speak to you again: your millipede overly-exaggerated. So much so, that I know your millipede is dishonest to even you. He does not have 750 legs. That's rare. More likely he only has 400, but he is a creature who is known to be lying to you. However, I'm not in the business of breaking anthropods' legs, especially since he's your anthropod and not mine. This is why I understand you would believe him. He told us your glacial and, yet, he prefers slimy dirt, well. . . as you once said to me, and I quote, "that's your problem between your millipede and you." Hateful, isn't it? Anyone who knows me would know that I would not speak such things and if you had given me the chance you would also know that I would never speak what the millipede said I did. Millipede's a liar. You threw without even asking if that was really me. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to go hang out with the birds that are my friends - who eat millipedes like you for breakfast.


what I would really say if I ever speak to you again: *nothing*



12 comments:

Alli said...

SMEGMA!!! LOL The funniest and yet one of the grossest medical terms!!!

Oh, and HUH????

Godiva Jen said...

OMG! ! ! I just asked the husband what that meant. . . .

Let me say here that I. Did. Not. Know. What. Smegma. Meant. Before. This. Post. I didn't even know it was a medical term.

So, ew.

Iain Shanks (shanksi) said...

As Alli so succinctly put it, huh???

Ian said...

Sounds like a fight brewing to me.

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

And yeah, thanks, I just googled smegma. Luckily I didn't do image search or I'd probably be fired.

Godiva Jen said...

First of all, I thought that was a made-up word. I had no idea it was an actual true word in all its grossness! Who knew? 'Cept for Alli. . . and. . . the husband.

Apologies to all. Anyone else reading this does not need to look up smegma - trust me on this one. Just know you'll be disgusted. And don't do it at work. I'd hate to be the reason anyone got disciplined and/or f-i-r-e-d. Okay.

It turns out it is a rather fitting title though. Ian is correct, but I will not fight. We had a terrible incident happen back in at the beginning of the year & a friendship was lost (well, it turns out they never actually were friends) - not on our part. These things happen, but the person who ended it was vindictive and malicious to me. I have an actual handwritten letter to prove it.

I had thought I had finally let this go a few months back, as I was terribly hurt & you just have to move on, but something popped up in me leetol brain to regurgitate these individuals and what they did/said. It still makes no sense to me.

So, I kinda just typed out a pooper of a blog 'cos I'd really like to tell her off. But . . . I won't.

Ian said...

I did suspect that this was about that, so I understand everyone else's confusion, and have no wish to add to it further but you were right and they were wrong and that's all you need to remember.

Alli said...

Venting is good & healthy. I like that you can find an artistic (& funny) way to do it.

I am still laughing about smegma. I remember when me & my PA buds learned that word. LOL! & ew!

:)

mindy said...

My brother-in-law is in medical school and he told me what smegma is once. Wow. You titled a blog that! Hahahaha.

Angry blog entries are the best, aren't they? :)

Tink said...

I want to see this letter so I can properly rip them a new a**hole online. Because that's what I do best ya know? That and sporking would be thieves.

Godiva Jen said...

I so wanted to publish the letter. Badly. But then that makes me cobra venom. just. like. her. So, I won't. But it's not to say I don't want to.

Tink, I could easily put it into your hands and I know you'd be magical in the a** ripping! I will continue to ponder this . . . .

To those of you who are late comers to this here site, this is a continuation from a post back in March, "Laugh and Whole World Laughs With You, Cry and You Have to Blow Your Nose." If you so care to check it out.

Thank you, Ian. This is why I love you and your wife - you've both always been unconditional! Many bitcher pitchers have helped, no? I also learned to tell everyone I meet that I am American. Not Irish. American! Which, is true, btw. I'm not arguing with you . . . it's funny!

Mindy, great minds think alike! For shnizzle. (I swear, I didn't even know smegma was a word - leave it to the medical field to ruin a great sounding word!)

Alli, I think I need to vent more often! With praise like that, I feel like I just won the lottery. (When I write my first book, will you please review it as I know you'll be nice? And I don't even have to say please!)

After all this and with friends like you, why was it I even cared about these people and what they said? ? ? Thanks, everyone! I do feel better.

Jay said...

I can resist anything but temptation. So, I had to google "Smegma". I then felt the need do a Google image search. I really wish I had more self control. There isn't enough eye bleach in the world to help me now. ;-) LOL

So, even though you posted the link to the previous post, I'm still not sure what this is about. But, that's okay though. As a guy I really don't need to know. I can just say something like "Yeah! Don't put up with their shit" and that's usually enough. Right? haha

Godiva Jen said...

Jay: you were warned, man. You were warned, but you just had to go and do what you weren't supposed to do. Eye bleach, brain bleach, nothing can help you now, bruthah. Nothing.