Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Pretend Like It Never Happened Part Deux

8 PM on Monday. The husband has just returned from a bike ride one of which you will find me glaringly absent from as I was trying very hard to get moi's electrolytes back into zen. So, shut it. M'kay?

moi: the last time I worked out was on Thursday. Ihaven'tworkedoutinfourdays. *groan*
the husband: just think of how many calories we consumed last night drinking. *mean, mean evil husband*
moi: but they were liquid calories and I pee'd them out, of course. *duh. who doesn't know that*
the husband: - - - *[blink, blink] followed by the infamous you-are-so-totally-caught-and-so-totally-guilty look*
moi: just let me believe this to be true even if it s'not. . . . *whimper. . . please let it be true, please let it be true, pleaseletitbetrue*
the husband: - - - that's not how it works.

Dammit. Foiled again.

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Later that night at 9 PM. Whilst waiting for dinner.

the husband: I have to pee and poop.
moi: you have to pee and poop?! *that's fantastically disgusting*
the husband: I said, "Rick-eeeeeee Boob-eeeeeee. . . ." *oh. Talladega Nights; how did I miss that in his very cute in da face French accent*
moi: oh. I thought you said you had to pee and poop, which was, you know, kinda weird.
the husband: . . well, I guess it sort of sounds the same. . . . *note to the husbands' self: get wife hearing aid for upcoming anniversary*

Yep. I'm thinking my electrolytes had yet to still balance out.

7 comments:

Tink said...

Ricky. Pee. Ok, I can see that one.

Bobby. Poop. But I'm not really seeing this one. ;)

It's OK. I blame the electrolytes too.

Ian said...

Stupid doctors. Learning stuff that shoots down wonderful theories. Of course booze calories should be counted differently from food calories. Ought to be at least half.

Jen said...

Tink: Well, in the movie, as with the husband, it's pronounced "Bewb-eee", so I caught "pewp-eee". It was all about fawn-et-ticks. Yo. I should have explained better.

Ian: Ino! And I have to live with the guy! He constantly shoots down my medical theories, which by the way are ingenious! Drink + pee = no calorie!!! Makes perfect sense. pffft.

Alli said...

LOL! Rick - eee BOOB - eee! Too funny!

Yes, I am seeing a theme throughout some of your blogs. Need a hearing test, my dear? Or you could just say to your husband what my hubby says to me after I give him grief for not hearing me correctly: "You mumble." ;p

I am so glad I am becoming a PA. I will never fit into the "stupid doctor" category....not technically anyway. ;) tee-hee

Jen said...

Alli: What? I'm sorry I couldn't hear you. . . you mumbled.

mindy said...

Booze calories just go straight to your bladder and you pee them out, duh. I know this b/c after one glass of wine I have to pee immediately. I think he is wrong. I'm stickin' to it.

Tink said...

*Snort* Gotcha! You're such a trip.